Ben Ky Leggiero’s Blog


That’s the umbrella over my gender! This is a discovery that elates me! It brings me such joy, to know that this is how God made me. Ironic, isn’t it? “But you’re a programmer; you love binary!” 😝

Non-Binary means neither male nor female, but it’s a very broad umbrella term – lots of Non-Binary people experience and express this in many different ways. For me, I simply don’t particularly care about my gender. I don’t care what pronouns people use for me, either. For a long time, I’ve let folks use whatever pronouns they want for me. As long as they show common respect and decency, it doesn’t really matter to me. Of course, I take the time and care to show them the common respect and decency of knowing and honoring their genders and pronouns – that should go without saying. Everyone’s gender is valid because it’s an external expression of their internal self.

Of course, I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. A very long time. I’ve had adventures discovering my gender through the past eleven years or so. I’ve talked with God, friends, therapists, and doctors about it for years, as well. Before I knew what Non-Binary was, I tried calling myself male, and later I tried female, and neither felt right. Today, I feel happy and content knowing that I’ve figured out this part of myself! It gives me peace that I’ve never felt before.

An illustration of a white and purple umbrella, labelled "Non-Binary". Beneath it are yellow capsules labelled with various genders, and one in front of them labeled "Whatever I am". The genders read "Gender-Neutral", "Gender-Queer", "Androgynous", "Demigirl", "Demiboy", "Demi-fluid", "Gender-fluid", "Agender", "Bigender", and "Polygender".

All that said, I do enjoy making myself look good. I like sculpting the person in the mirror – my beard and hair are especially fun to play with. Next up, I’m looking to sculpt the rest of my body. I’ve been working out more, tracking all my nutrients, and taking hormones, to build my muscle, trim some fat, and grow breasts. I’m looking forward to how I’ll look afterwards!

I’d like to see the world embrace gender as a way to express oneself, and communicate one’s identity. Someday soon I hope to see it become untied from sex completely. The same with sexuality: I think folks should love whomever they love, regardless of identity and expression. Of course, gender can come into play if they want, but it shouldn’t be assumed that it does.

So if you see me or contact me, all I ask is for your respect. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this! Feel free to contact me any time and ask as many questions as you like! I’m so happy to talk about it with any and all of you. Be excellent to each other, may God bless, and have a great day.

Me, wearing a T-Shirt over my prosthetic breasts. The T-Shirt reads "Bend the binary till it breaks"